1. Before Bali 2017

Leaping

Tuesday, August 15th, 2017

Bags are packed and I’m ready to go. FINALLY!


And my last meal in Seattle?

DUH.

An incredible shout out to Kris. Thank you so much for letting me stay in your home, aka the Adult Treehouse, the past month and a half. I found so much zen here, finally slept peacefully, and enjoyed every meal, conversation, and quiet night. It’s going to be hard to leave this place. Yes, even for Bali. Love you, Kris. Can’t thank you enough. 

And thank you, Landin’s, for taking my car and storing half of my life… I didn’t realize how much I love my car until I had to say goodbye to it. This is all worth it, though.

Sometimes your only available transportation is a leap of faith. -Margaret Shepard

Next time I write, I’ll either be in Taiwan or my final destination: BALI. 

Selamat Tinggal!

Greenlake

Tuesday, August 15th, 2017

Instead of sitting in Bali right now like I was supposed to be, I’m still in Seattle. But you know what? I’m so happy I am. Feels like that damn little tooth was meant to wreak havoc so I could get it pulled…and have a couple more days in the Pacific Northwest. Because of this extra time I was given, I was able to see some of my very favorite people and simply have more time to get ready. That fear and doubt I felt last week was short-lived, thank GOODNESS. All I feel now is excitement. Just a few more hours and I’ll finally be on my way to the other side of the world.

But today? Today is about Greenlake.

One last walk. One last sit in my old back yard. My “terrarium.”

Greenlake is a place that has left a mark on my heart. It is the setting of so many days and so many nights for me. Rain or shine…sometimes even snow.

Countless books have been read here. In my ‘terrarium,’ I knew the exact spot to sit to get the longest amount of sunlight.

Hundreds of walks – solo and with friends. Deep conversations were had while next to the water. Pages of journal entries were written here.

Softball games, 5K’s, and naps. All here.

I was here so frequently, I knew who the regulars were. Some of them knew me as a regular, too. We’d acknowledge each other with a smile and a head nod.

I’ve watched ducks grow up here. I’d come here during my darkest days and find glimmers of peace. I felt like I grew here, along with the ducks.

I’ve walked in the pouring rain here, swam here, and I’ve even walked on the Lake.

Sunsets, sunrises, and even moon sets.

So many encounters with my Spirit Animal.

I have unconditional love for this Lake – it is spectacular in all seasons. In full color and black and white.

Thank you, Greenlake.

You were the water that nourished my soul.

You are the reason I bloomed.

Change of Plan, Change of Plane

Monday, August 14th, 2017

I’m supposed to be on a plane right now…

Instead, I’m laying on a couch with a bag of peas pressed against my jaw, and I’m on a diet of tomato soup and ice cream. The dentist who pulled my tooth on Saturday was convinced I could easily go on a plane the next night, but oh how wrong this assumption was. I can barely talk or smile, I’ve got a sore throat, stuffy nose, and a nasty cough, and the worst nausea. Plus, my body definitely let me know that it does NOT like Vicodin. Sitting on a plane with a person 6 inches away from me for 12 hours would be a terrible idea at this point.

Thankfully, it was very easy to switch my flight. Wednesday morning will be my new departure! This gives me a couple more days to heal and I’m very happy about it. I managed to still get window seats and they even pre-ordered my meal – they recommended the fish since it will be the softest. 

So the countdown is still on. 2 more days….again. 

I did say I was going to go with the flow with this whole process. I wasn’t really expecting an emergency surgery, that’s for sure. But with this extra time I was given in Seattle, I was able to see my best friend Shayna for a hot minute and I’ll be able to see a couple other friends before I go. 

Now that the pain is almost nonexistent, I can laugh about this. I mean seriously…drive from Spokane to Seattle, straight to an emergency dentist to get my tooth pulled. Saturday was supposed to be about packing swimsuits, sunscreen, sundresses, and tank tops for paradise. Instead, it was needles, saws, clamps, and gauze in my mouth. Kiiiind of hilarious.


Ahhhhh, life. What will it bring next??

A twist…and a pull

Saturday, August 12th, 2017

And a twist to the plans that I was not expecting…

I alluded in the wee hours of this morning that a physical pain began and I was worried it would prevent me from getting on the plane in less than 48 hours.

A toothache. My worst nightmare.

It began Wednesday morning and never subsided. Do you want to know when the best time to have health insurance is? Right when you’re about to lose it… I truly feel like my mind went into hyperdrive and stressed about not having health insurance. I will have travel insurance, but nothing as comprehensive as what I had through KOMO. I checked and my last day with insurance was today. So I begged and I prayed for the pain to go away all week. It didn’t. In fact, it was so bad, it was all I could think about in my last few days at home. I didn’t really bring it up to anyone because I was that hopeful it was just temporary. Stupid me. I could barely taste my last few meals at home, I turned down my Gramma’s cookies (idiot!), and I could barely sleep due to the pain. 

This past night I barely slept at all. I just knew deep down something was wrong. So I got out of bed at 6am and took off for Seattle. I said goodbye to my parents and it was not how I was intending it to be. We said goodbye, but I honestly wondered if I was actually going to leave. Maybe I’d visit a dentist, they’d tell me I have to get my tooth pulled, I’d have to wait 2 weeks for it to be done, I’d sink into depression and wonder what the hell I was doing with my life, and I’d lose my belief in magic. This wasn’t supposed to happen. Not two days before my grand adventure!

So I drove and tried to get lost in my music. It was really hard; my mind frequently wandered to the worst possible scenario: I wouldn’t go to Bali. I’d end up paying an arm and a leg. And I’d regret everything I’ve done the past 3 months.

I called the emergency dentist right when it opened and set my appointment. Deep breaths.

I arrived, stood outside the door, made a quick phone call and looked down. I know it says “BALL”, but to me, it was just the sign I needed at the time. I saw “BALI.” Ok, yes, I can do this. It’s going to be okay. A little hint of magic.


After pages of paperwork, I sat down and tried not to panic. They looked at my tooth and said they could give me an antibiotic, but that would just mask the problem. It would still cause me issues and I should get it pulled. They said they could do it right then.

What?! RIGHT NOW? Don’t I need to make appointments? Wait for a week? Have someone here to drive me home? Aren’t you going to put me under? Isn’t this a bigger ordeal?!?!

I told them I have a flight the next day…and my parking was going to expire in an hour.

“Not a problem. You can be on the flight and you’ll be out of here in no time.”

WHAT? Why is this so easy? I honestly thought maybe I was in some scammy office with dentists who aren’t actually dentists. They came by with a form that said it would only be $130. Today was my last day with insurance. It was either today…or worry the entire time I was in Bali.

I was terrified. Shaking, crying, and not happy.

It began. 4 tools in my mouth at once for almost an hour. The sound of the saw, the sight of seeing white gauze go in and red gauze come out, the smell of shaved tooth, and constantly trying to breathe and relax. 

Not what I was envisioning for the Saturday before my trip. After an hour, I was sitting up with gauze and stitches in my mouth. They’re still convinced I can go on a plane soon, no problem. We’ll see about that.

But I’m happy I did it. It sucks right now, but I know it would have been a lot worse if I didn’t get it checked out.

Now I’m sitting on a couch, watching Harry Potter, smelling corn and really wishing I could eat it…and the sting is beginning.

Keep crossing your fingers…I really hope they’re right about me being able to get on that plane!

Who gets their tooth pulled 2 days before they’re supposed to go to Bali?? I DO! I DO!

Ready for the beach…

Crossing Fingers

Saturday, August 12th, 2017

It’s the middle of the night and I can’t sleep.

2 days left…

The doubt, the fear, and the nerves have all made their presence known. Whenever people asked me if I was nervous to go to Bali alone, without a job or a plan, I would immediately respond, “Not at all.” And the truth was, I wasn’t nervous at all. I don’t know why, but now I’m nervous. It’s all becoming real…so real, that my mind is spinning like a tornado. I quit my job. I gave away the majority of my belongings. I am leaving my friends and Seattle. And I have no plan. These past few months, it felt liberating. Now? I feel like I’m crazy for doing all this! There’s a voice in my head that’s telling me that I’m nuts and I should have stuck to what I knew, what was comfortable. I’ve lost touch with my positive intuition that was guiding me down a new path.

I was working so damn hard to wrap loose ends up at work, say goodbye to everyone, train my replacement, and mentally prepare for a wild adventure. Pushing myself that hard has manifested into a nasty cold that I’ve been dealing with while home in Spokane. I know I’m not myself when I actually turn down my Gramma’s cookies. WHAT IS HAPPENING?!

Also, a painful issue showed up and I’m terrified that it might actually prevent me from getting on the plane in 2 days. So damn terrified.

I wish I could have been writing happy, whimsical updates this past week, but this is my truth right now. I promised myself that I wouldn’t hold back in sharing my journey, and unfortunately, it’s not always perfect. I’m experiencing setbacks and I will do my best to kick that negative voice out of my head.

I’ve been receiving so many pep talks from my family and sweet notes from friends that are keeping me going. Some of you have said you’re rooting for me…you have no idea how much that helps me right now. I didn’t think I’d need support, so thank you for believing in me.

I’ve been tossing and turning all night – it’s amazing how writing this all out helps calm my mind. I’m grateful for this outlet…and I’m also very grateful for you.

Crossing fingers…

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The People

Friday, August 4th, 2017

Today is my last day at KOMO. It finally arrived…

Very bittersweet. It’s been 8 incredible years – starting as a little intern, growing into Programming, Sales, and finally Creative Services. This past week has been so busy, but so heartwarming and I’d love to write more…but this is all I have energy for at the moment…

There are a variety of reasons I am leaving work, some reasons are obvious (hello, BALI), and there are others I won’t get in to. But there is a reason I absolutely love KOMO. There is a reason I loved coming in to work every. single. day.

It’s the people.

Two years ago, we were about to unveil our brand new News set. My boss asked me to go around the station and take pictures of as many people as I could so we could have the photos appear on the HAM (Huge Ass Monitor). I loved this project because it was my way to sort of dive into photography – it was during this project I learned more about lighting, focus, and the infamous rule of thirds. I wasn’t all too great at taking photos, but it planted the seed for my interest in photography.

But I mainly loved this project because I got to interface with a lot of incredible people. I didn’t realize at the time how grateful I’d be to have these photos to remember my friends with.

My people.

Thanks for 8 incredible years. I will miss this place and these people so damn much.

Beautiful souls. I am so lucky.

Big Table

Tuesday, August 1st, 2017

Over three years of Tuesday meetings with my Creative Services team. A morning meeting that always turned into light-hearted conversations and witty quips back and forth. 

A team (I like to call our team a family) of creative, intelligent minds that convene every Tuesday at Uptown Espresso. 1 drip, 1 white chocolate mocha, 2 Americanos, a hot chocolate, and a wildcard (usually a vanilla latte or chai tea). 

Over the years we’ve had over a hundred meetings. Pete would always text us when he got there after his walk from the bus.

“Big Table”

That’s all it took. A few minutes later, we’d all make our way to our favorite coffee shop with the green carpet and the “velvet foam.” We’d gather around the one big table, sip our fuel,  and talk about a mix of work and life. 

I’ll miss our Tuesday meetings.

It’s sloooooooooowly starting to hit me.