During Home

Sunday, December 24th, 2017

Merry Christmas Eve! 

This past week has been a complete mix of emotions. I have the urge to write and write and write, but I’ll keep this entry short. Oddly enough, what I want to write about is how I’m going to continue this blog. I’m finding it interesting the tiny things that are making me think so much. So much of my adventure was captured in this blog, and in a lot of ways it is what kept me sane during all of the ups and downs in Bali. My writing has become a consistent part of my journey through this period of life.

Whenever I post a new entry, I include a category. The past 9 months, I’ve used “Before Bali” and “During Bali.” Now I’m selecting the category “After Bali.” I can’t help but wonder, what is my Before category now? What’s coming next? The rest of my life can’t be known as “After Bali.” Even my subtitle, “An American Girl in Amed, Bali” will need to change. But to what? I’m sort of in this limbo place right now where I’m home for the holidays and adjusting back to the Western world – it’s a holiday for everyone. But I don’t have clear direction anymore; I’m feeling a bit lost. So once I get back to Seattle, it’ll be time to focus. I am reminding myself to trust the Universe and know that everything will work out, but it is a bit scary. And that doesn’t mean I can just sit on my ass and see what happens. I need to get out there and discover for myself what my next “During _______”  category is. 

I’ve had people tell me they can’t live vicariously through me anymore and that maybe it’s time to find a new place to live and get another job in the city. A big part of me agrees with all of that. I mean, I’m not in paradise zipping around on my scooter anymore and now I need to find a way to make an income. Will I have anything worth writing about anymore? Well, that little voice of mine is telling me my adventure isn’t over…

So my “plan” is to look into organizations that align with my passions, keep having conversations (so many of my experiences in Bali spurred from random conversations with strangers), keep writing, and keep trusting in the Universe and myself. 

Before I get into hustle mode, I’m going to keep enjoying this incredible time with my family. I am so grateful to be home for my favorite holiday and be able to do a little bit of yoga with Claire Bear. Everything will work out – it always does.

I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas full of joy and love. 

Life is good.


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