Wednesday, July 19th, 2017
I woke up with a sore throat this morning and it was my body’s way of telling me that I’m beginning to get a bit overwhelmed. My calendar before I go back to Bali is almost completely full. I don’t see any blank space on any days leading up to my departure. No open time anymore…that is, until August 14th. Then all I will have is open time.
I’ve been getting texts, messages, and e-mails asking to hang out before I leave and my days are so full now that I’m worried if anyone else asks to hang out, I won’t have the time. So many commitments. But I guess that just means that anyone I don’t get a chance to spend time with before I go will have to come visit me in Bali! I wish all my time in the next few weeks could be spent with friends and family, but there are so many work events that I am a part of as well. The stress of wrapping everything up at work and not having any more time to myself is clearly getting to me. However, I see a very bright and warm light at the end of the tunnel.
As I go through this crazy transition in my life, I’ve been turning to yoga to help get me through. I wish I had more time to go to classes, but since I don’t, I’ve been leaning on the lessons that yoga teaches. On Monday, I went to my first class in a month and a half. It was the longest I’ve gone without going to the studio and I was happy to get back on my mat.
These last few weeks in Seattle remind me of my 75-minute Power Flow classes. This is the hardest part. I’m on minute 60. The part of the class where I just want to get into savasana, final resting pose. I don’t know if my body can handle any more sequences, but sure enough, we’re guided to hold runner’s pose. “Oh my God, I can’t hold this pose for another second!” In minute 60, my body is tired, I’m dripping in sweat, my mind is playing tricks on me and telling me to just get into child’s pose the rest of class. My ego is telling me that I’m not strong enough to complete any more poses. But then I think of what my teachers always say, “Yoga begins when you want to break the pose. This is when the real work begins.”
I start encouraging myself and believing that I can hold the pose. That it will make savasana that much grander. That I can learn from this. A little discomfort is okay – it means I’m growing and becoming stronger. This Monday’s class, my teacher spoke of comfort zones and how we can’t always sink into positions that are familiar. Not engaging my legs in downward facing dog or resting all my weight on my knee during triangle pose. It’s more comfortable than doing the pose correctly. But we must go beyond our comfort zones – this is when we conquer our old habits. This is when savasana, and life, become a bit more magical.
Right now, all of these work events and engagements are the last few yoga sequences before I reach resting pose. I could easily do the bare minimum and blame it on “short-timer syndrome.” But I’m pushing through, full steam ahead, knowing that it’s all for a greater good. I’m embracing all of it.
15 more minutes until savasana. 26 more days until Bali.
Ahhh, my sore throat is already fading away….