Day: May 5, 2017

The Day After…

Friday, May 5, 2017

Breathe, Mo…Breathe.

Bali Booking

I’m sort of in disbelief that this is all happening! Am I doing this too quickly? Am I making the wrong decision? What if in two months (or two DAYS) I completely want to back out?

I’m quitting my job, I’m selling half of my belongings, and I will be unemployed.

Who am I?!?! What is happening?!?

[deep breath]

Living life, that’s what I’m doing. I’ve been feeling a little off today, sometimes dizzy. There are thoughts that maybe I shouldn’t be doing this and I’m wondering if it’s not too late to change my mind.

Change my mind? To what?? Finding a different job that I likely won’t be fulfilled in. Finding a different place to live; but since rent has skyrocketed in Seattle, I’d have to move to the outskirts of town, maybe go back to having a roommate, and deal with a longer commute. Remaining in Seattle which makes me completely anxious because of the growth, traffic, construction, rising costs, and technology. Take a walk down the street and over 50% of the people you see will be glued to their phones. Human interaction is practically non-existent in this city anymore. Oh yeah, and the rain. 8 months of cold, rainy weather to have 4 months of sunlight (and that’s not even a given). Hmmm….I should write these on little note cards and pull them out whenever I start worrying about my decision. There are lots of incredible perks of Seattle and I understand why it’s such a popular place to be, but I just need a break.

I won’t change my mind. This is what I am being called to do – taking a risk and seeing what happens. Just like my job and Seattle right now, I’m not forced to stay here. If I go to Bali and decide I don’t want to be there long, I can simply buy a plane ticket home!

Quitting my job, moving somewhere new, and going along a path that is virtually unknown is called “Freedom.”

It’s going to be an interesting few months leading up to my departure…

Official.

Thursday, May 4, 2017

It’s…..official. Holy crap, it’s official.

I. Am. Going. Back. To. BALI!

I just purchased a one-way ticket for the very first time in my life.

It doesn’t feel real.

I’ve talked to my boss and HR about when my last day will be. I put in my notice that I will be vacating my apartment. I have temporary housing for the month of July. I have a place for my car to be stored, a place to send my mail, and a place for storage. Most importantly, I have my family’s blessing and support. It wasn’t official, though, until I hit “Purchase” on the flight.

I was FaceTiming with my Mom while I made the purchase – I wanted to “be with” someone while I made this huge leap of faith. As soon as I saw the confirmation page, my Mom asked me, “What are you feeling right now?”

This is what I’m feeling:

Peace.

I surprisingly didn’t get very emotional; not sad, not ecstatic, not shocked, just calmness. I feel like my gut is saying, “Well duh, this shouldn’t be a surprise. Of course you’re going back to Bali. You knew it would happen, and it was obvious that you were going to go back. Going back in August gives you time to save money, to wrap things up at work, to take your time moving and going through your belongings, and to spend time with family and friends during a PNW summer. This was all meant to happen and you knew deep down that you were going to be buying that ticket for August 14th. It’s not a shock; this means it’s right. You’re not second-guessing, all you’re doing is envisioning your life in Bali. That’s the best feeling in the world. You’re going back…it’s really happening. [sigh of relief]”

It won’t really hit me until I get closer to August. I know I’ll have moments where I’ll question this decision and think I’m insane for quitting my job to go back to a developing country without an agenda. But always remember, that’s what life is all about. What’s the fun in just gliding along status quo? It’s time to LIVE.

It’s officially official. I’M GOING BACK TO BALI!