Thursday, April 20, 2017

Maybe if I write it out, I’ll actually believe it.

Right now, I’m not 100% convinced. I still have those thoughts that I’m crazy to think of moving there.

“Why not?” I keep asking myself.

So why not?? Because it’s far away! And I’ll miss my family and friends! And I’ll have to quit my job of 8 years! And I’ll have to move out of my apartment of 5 years! And it’s a foreign country! And I’m on a vacation-high! And it’s CRAZY!!

Standard reasons for not wanting to move to the complete opposite side of the world… But what about why I should?

I still haven’t washed my clothes from the trip because I don’t want the smell of the ocean to go away. I’m sad that my skin is peeling, my blisters are healing, and my body has readjusted to Pacific Standard Time – these things just mean that Bali is further and further in the past. I still convert my time to 15 hours ahead and ask, “What would I be doing right now?” I haven’t switched my Facebook back from Indonesian to English because I want to keep learning the language, any way I can. I’m leaving my leftover rupiah mixed in with my US dollars so it’s a reminder of Indonesia every time I open my wallet. Oh yeah, and there hasn’t been an hour that I haven’t thought of Bali.

So again I ask… Why not?

Something’s telling me it’s not a vacation-high…

I remember seeing this picture for the first time and I had a vision of the future. Me as a grown woman looking back on this photo and thinking, “Ahh yes, this was when it all began.”